My Roommate is a Giant Hipster Tool

He came in and asked if I'd seen Hostel, then wanted to know if I wanted to go. I informed him again that I could get him in for free and had to check showtimes. "I gotta get a shower," he said.

"Well," I said, looking up the time online, "you've got an hour."

He takes the shower, then calls the girl of last night. "Hey," he asks her, "you still want to go see a movie? Because I was either going to see Walk the Line again or Hostel...Hostel?...Oh, you can't? Well, let me call you back."

Then he walks into my room. "Would you mind if we go see something different?"

"I only wanted to see Hostel," I say, giving him full permission to do whatever.

"Well, OK," he says. "Then me and you'll see that."

"You can go with her," I say, already disgusted that this flake played itself out in less than a half-hour.

"That would be very uncool of me to do that," he said. "You got me first! That's how it works."

As I started to write this, he kept coming back in, and I keep having to hide the window.

"I'm really proud of myself. Because a few months ago, when I had this bigger crush on her, I would've been like, 'Screw you Shane, going with [girl]!' WOO HOO! I'm really proud of myself."

posted by Shane @ 12:40 PM